Several participants have asked me what surprised me the most about the findings. I would say that most surprising were the narratives of participants who were raised in homes where their caregivers had rocky relationships: Those participants spoke to the way in which they consciously worked against the bad relationship models they had as children (or took the best from those bad relationships) to create their own successful long term relationships. They took lemons and made lemonade. -BT

In speaking with long term couples, whether  same sex or heterosexual, I have found that at some time or another one half of the couple did what I will call, “maintaining the thread of the relationship.”   Partners sometimes go back and forth in exerting whatever special force, influence or energy it is that keeps a relationship going and on track.  In some coupled relationships, one partner consistently holds that role.   -BT