About the Researcher
My involvement in this project sprung from my work as a psychotherapist in Chicago, where since 2001 I have had a diverse private practice, working with men and women (individuals and couples) of different ages, races and sexual orientations. I am half of a long-term, coupled, gay relationship myself, my partner and I having been together in a committed relationship since 1997. From the beginning of our relationship to today, we have benefited from the recognition and support of our relationship by a wide network of loved ones, but also have received advice and assistance from many other long term couples—gay, lesbian and straight.
. . . those couples illustrated to the American public that there were same sex partners who had nurtured committed relationships for decades.
One of the issues that psychotherapy clients (regardless of sexual orientation) often raise with me is the desire to be in a long lasting relationship. This study germinated as a result of my conversations with my gay male clients who felt that long-term, committed relationships were elusive; my personal experience of gay coupledom; and the news media's coverage of same sex partners leaving the San Francisco City Hall on February 12, 2004 brandishing new marriage licenses. Regardless of one's position on gay marriage, those couples illustrated to the American public that there were same sex partners who had nurtured committed relationships for decades.
As a former practicing attorney, I am always curious about how, despite legal restrictions, people persevere in maintaining the integrity of their relationships. The following quote, though from another time, presents a view with which I resonate:
Certainly, under the present social setup, a homosexual relationship is more difficult to maintain than a heterosexual one . . . but doesn't that merely make it more of a challenge and therefore, in a sense, more humanly worthwhile? The success of such a relationship is revolutionary in the best sense of the word. And, because it demonstrates the power of human affection over fear and prejudice and taboo, it is actually beneficial to society as a whole — as all demonstrations of faith and courage must be: they raise our collective morale.
~Christopher Isherwood in a 1948 letter to Gore Vidal*
This project is a wedding of my experiences as an attorney, researcher and psychotherapist, and as an individual involved in the ongoing pursuit of happiness.