Summary of Findings

This study gathered an enormous amount of data, which will continue to be mined in the future.  However, following are nine overarching findings from the study that incorporate data gathered in all three phases of the data collection.  Click on a finding and you will be taken to a PDF file containing an excerpt from the longer research conclusions. 

  1. Stability was articulated as a foundational building block for the achievement and maintenance of long lasting committed gay relationships;
  2. Participants created new and positive love object experiences rather than repeating prior problematic love relations. In other words, the desire for better ways of relating to loved ones is actionable and a sense of stability can be generated even where early lives were not stable;
  3. The attribute of compassion and the soothing function, both commonly associated with the female caregiver, may be manifested in participants' ability to soothe their partners;
  4. Communication was highly valued by this sample and supported many aspects of their lives together including conflict management;
  5. Internal characteristics such as compassion and empathy were more valued than physical characteristics such as muscularity or good looks, and aggression less valued as either a parent or partner attribute;
  6. Participants mated with partners who were similar to themselves in terms of level of object relatedness as measured by the Object Relations Inventory (“ORI”);
  7. The majority of the sample considered themselves part of a committed couple after having been together for less than a year;
  8. The desire for sexual monogamy may have a correlation to participants' feeling that there was a lack of permanence and stability in their parents;
  9. Sexual exclusivity was not necessarily discussed by all participant couples.